Let me Give You a Hand!

ugh. Someone stole my hand chair from my front porch. That always creeps me out a little bit. I mean. I know strangers do come up onto the porch from time to time. Sometimes they knock and try to sell me stuff and sometimes they come to leave fliers from local restaurants. Still, when something goes missing...it is a reminder that *anyone* can come onto the porch.

This chair used to belong to my friend Gary and I have to say that although I have owned it for a while now and although I have occasionally parked my butt into the chair's surprisingly comfortable cupped palm, most of my best memories about the chair were from when the chair belonged to Gary. Still, I always really liked the chair and it used to give me a smile every day when I got home from work. Oh well, it had some sentimental value but I am trying to have less stuff and I suppose one way to look at this is that it is the universe's way of liberating me from some small portion of my stuff.

I always wonder about the sort of person who would walk onto someone's porch to steal a hand chair. Did they steal it because it seriously is a cool chair? Or was it someone who thinks they can resell a used hand chair? It is funny too because I know a lot of people who have stolen stuff before. Some people have cheated on their taxes. Some people have stolen cable or illegally downloaded music or whatever. Still, it seems that actually stealing a physical object from someone's porch is not something most folks would do. Oh well, it was probably a Gary groupie. Someone heard that Gary's ass used to OWN that chair and they couldnt live without it.

Honestly though, I have often wondered why things like lawn and porch furniture dont get stolen more often. I think about that every time I sit down with the Smith and Hawken catalog. I mean, I love the teak benches and I know they last forever and I know that one of those benches would look lovely on my porch. But even if I could afford one, and I most certainly cannot, wouldnt a thousand dollar bench on a front porch just be a little bit too tempting?

I did call the cops about this though. I told them they didnt need to send anyone over but they did anyways. They sent a very nice woman who took down all of the information. Man, it has got to be boring being a cop sometimes. I mean, I can not imagine that The Great Hand Job is a caper worth writing home about.