My job rocks

I had my six month review today. It rocked. I got a big raise. I love it there. I have seven windows to look out of from my desk. I have a fancy office chair. I work with some seriously awesome people.

Work, Dogs, and TV

I havent been doing much this past week except the usual going to work, walking the dogs, and watching TV.

Work - Man, I have to say that my job totally rocks. I know I am always going on about it to people but I have really been fortunate to land here. My co-workers rock. The bosses rock. I get treated well all the time. I am generally good at what I do but I have found out that even if I make a big mistake, I get treated a lot differently at this job than at my other one. I still have days where I wake up and dont feel like going into work but they are much fewer and far between than before. All in all, in that area, things are going well.

Dogs - they sure are fun. Last week we had lots of snow and it is so funny to see how differently each of my two dogs deals with snow. Brooke LOVES it. She always runs out and dives right in. She gets her whole head under the snow, she runs around in it, she makes snow angels, and generally just has a blast with it. Tasha on the other hand will walk outside and then will turn around and try to walk back in the house as soon as she realizes that there is snow on the ground. I have to make her go out to pee. It is hilarious!

We have been having some really unseasonably warm days for the past couple of days. I think it got up to 64F yesterday which was a record high. There has been a lot of rain too which combined with the melting of all the snow from last week has meant a lot of mud. There is so much water and mud down at the park that the paved path is mushy. That is too bad since I am pretty sure that the city doesnt have money to replace it. They did replace the lighting down there though but, so far, they havent turned them on. Oh well. I went down there yesterday and there were lots of people with dogs there. It was cool. Tasha LOVES meeting people and other dogs. Brooke likes it too but with less gusto than this yellow lab.

TV - I have just discovered Friday Night Lights. NBC.com has full episodes all the way back to the pilot on their web site. I have watched the entire first season in a week and a half! When I first heard of it, my thought was "A show about high school football in Texas? It sounds perfectly awful" But it turns out that it is well written and quite interesting. Even the football parts are decent. I would even go so far as to say that this show's fake, staged football games are much better than real live football games. For one thing, they only last a few minutes and they just show the "good parts" ;) I am learning things about football from watching the show though.

Today

I cant think of any brilliant posts to write so I am just going to talk about my day...

I woke up and was glad that the sky was beginning to get light. I am NOT in favor of ending Daylight Saving time a week later. Seriously, I need to be up by 7:15am if I want to pack a lunch and take the bus to work from Ypsilanti. Last week, I kept waking up after 8am which meant that I had to drive to work and pay to park and even then, I was 10 minutes late a couple of times. Besides, having darkness in the mornings doesnt make me save energy because I turn on lights and then forget to turn them off when I leave. It is much much better for me to just wake up when it is light.

My work is going well. I enjoy it. I get to go swimming on my lunch hours. And today there was an announcement that we might be getting a pool table! It will mean getting rid of the ping pong table but everyone agreed that a pool table would be better for formulating and discussing ideas. I still dont get tired looking out of the windows but unfortunately now that the sun is to the south, there are certain times of day when it shines right into my eyes and then I have to shut the blinds. Still, sun in my eyes is better than no sun.

I went to Costco after work. How boring. The sad thing is that I pretty much only had enough money to pay for dog/cat food and treats for the dogs. Or maybe that is a good thing because Costco is an easy place to blow a lot of money.

Then I had dinner at my parents and picked up my dogs who were on vacation at the lake. Now I am home and I am going to watch a DVD and then I am going to see if I can find some election results before going to bed.

The thing is...I know that my life is somewhat boring now and I am kind of happy about it. It's all good boring. Which is way better than bad interesting, if you know what I mean.

Blogging

I know that I havent been updating this blog much lately. It is weird but I just dont feel much like writing in the evenings for some reason. Part of it is that most things are going well.

Tasha, the new dog, is settling in. She's still destroying things when I go to work but usually very minor things. She has been re-potty trained for the most part. She likes going to the park and she likes going to the lake.

My job is still going well. I love having windows to look out of. Especially this time of year. The trees are in full color and I can see tons of them from my desk. I am keeping on top of all of the work. As I learn more, the work gets easier. On the days when I do get stressed, I use the Y membership they give me as a benefit to go swimming on my lunch hour. There is nothing that de-stresses me as well as swimming.

Stuff

Well, my second week at the new job seems to be going well. Folks there seem to think I am doing a good job which is good. I have some ideas for making things more efficient that I hope they will like. The commute remains terrible. Today I dropped off my Dad's car at the body shop and took the bus into work. That wasnt too bad. But coming home was a NIGHTMARE. It took me an hour and a half door to door. Yuck. Oh well. I guess I know what to expect tomorrow though.

I got to thinking about the economics of public transportation though. In the past week and a half, I have ridden on several AATA routes. The buses always have plenty of riders. This morning the #4 was so crowded, I wasnt sure anyone else would be able to get onto it. Granted, I am only riding the bus at rush hour but still... Anyways, it seems to me that one of the biggest costs for the bus is labor so I started thinking about ways that AATA could reduce labor costs while making people's commutes better too.

The answer is technology. I know this is a pipe dream but I wonder if the technology exists to build some kind of elevated light rail/monorail that doesnt need a person driving the train. And if so, I wonder how much it would cost to build such a thing. I imagine that it must cost a lot. And by "a lot" I mean an amount where the AATA wouldnt be able to recoup the costs quickly enough with whatever labor savings they might have. Still, it would be nice to have such a thing running between Ann Arbor and Ypsilanti. It seems to me that if one could get from Ypsi to Ann Arbor in 20 mins or so without getting stuck in traffic, more people would become mass transit riders.

Well, enough with the bus I guess...

Labor Day Weekend was really nice. I had people up to the lake on Saturday and Sunday. We had a blast. Shannon brought me a birthday cake on Sunday which was really nice. The weather was great. We swam a lot. It was all good.

Adventures with AATA

The first week at my new job has been going well. The only thing about it that I dont like is the commute. It has been taking me between 45 minutes and an hour and a half EACH WAY. This is mostly because of traffic. I've been going to the Pioneer High school park and ride but the traffic getting there is bad and then the bus has to fight even worse traffic on Main Street. I am hoping that all of this traffic isnt normal and it is due to this being student move in week. We'll see.

AATA operates only one single express bus and it isnt one from Ypsi. It goes from the Plymouth Road Mall to Downtown. It might be faster for me to drive to the Plymouth Road Mall and park there and then take the Express bus downtown. I dont think I should catch too much traffic going over that way.

Or I might just take the bus all the way from Ypsilanti. I think spending that much time on the bus might make me go crazy though. I have always really hated riding the bus. I often get motion sickness from being on the bus which is kind of weird because I almost never get motion sickness in cars unless certain people are driving.

Another possibility at least when the weather is nice would be to catch the Washtenaw bus with my bike in the bike rack. I could get off at S. University and Washtenaw and then have a five-ten minute bike ride to work. I know I would be allowed to bring my bike into the office.

Anyways, transportation issues aside. I am really loving my new job. My work environment is really awesome and I am starting to do actual work now which is nice. It is really nice to be downtown too. Today I spent my lunch hour walking around and then I went and got a coffee at SweetWaters Cafe, which while expensive has really nice coffee. I am pretty sure that even though it is across the street, I might be able to connect to my new company's wireless connection from there which means that I'll probably be able to work from there sometimes once I am confident enough to do work without constantly asking questions.

First Day at Work

I had my first day at my new job today. So far...so good. I have a lot of confidence that I will be able to do what they need me to do. I have a to learn of course but I am good at that sort of thing. Everyone is nice there and helpful. They took me out to lunch for my first day which was really nice. And the WINDOWS! I had windows all day and not just any windows...but windows with an actual NICE VIEW. A nice view of trees and downtown. I can see The Fleetwood Diner from my desk. My former boss kept calling it The Treehouse because she couldnt remember the company name but I have to say that it really felt like being in a Treehouse.

Working downtown will probably be good for my health too. For one thing, I am working on the third floor so going up and down stairs all day will be a good thing. But also, my new company gives everyone a membership to the Y, which is a mere two blocks away (I can see that from my desk too). That means that I can go swimming on my lunch hour if I want to.

I still have to work out the parking thing. I parked at the park and ride at Pioneer HS and that worked ok but I wonder if another park and ride might be faster. I am going to check it out. I cant afford to park in the city lot that is right across the street except once in a while. It's $9/day.

Last Week

I am in my last week at my current job. It is funny how hard a last week can be. I thought it would be easy because of the whole light at the end of the tunnel effect. But instead, I just want to be gone. I have cleaned out my cube of all of my personal stuff. I am ready to be gone. Oh well, I still have things to do around here to finish up. Mostly I am trying to write documents so that the people they hire off the street with limited computer skills can have a tiny chance of fixing things. I have to admit, though, that the literacy skills of some of the recent hires are so lacking that I am not entirely sure they'll be able to read anything I write down.

One thing that is good about this being my last week is that self evaluations are going to be due for the mid year reviews soon. And I don't have to do one!

When it Rains, It Pours

I have kind of fixed my computer. I have fixed it up enough that I can get on the internet anyways. I think I can replace all of the applications I had on the old computer since so much of it was freeware anyways. I might have to buy a word processing program but then again, I might not. I mean, now that I am not going back to school, I don't know how much word processing I'll be doing.

I spoke to the graduation audit person at EMU yesterday. She had called several times while I was in Nova Scotia. She said that I hadn't listed a minor on my graduation application. I said that I didn't know that a minor was *required* but she said that it was. I told her that I never picked a minor because I never was able to make up my mind. I spent about 30 seconds wondering how many classes I was going to have to take to pick up a minor in something...ANYTHING. I wondered if there might be a minor in belly button lint picking because that is about all the higher education I felt up to. And then, she chimed in with her happy cheery voice, "You have enough credits for a minor in Psychology"

So I was all like, "Hell FUCK yeah! That's what I want!!!" (although I didn’t say *exactly* that) And ta-da...I am a college graduate with a BS degree in Economics and a minor in Psychology. I am glad that I got a BS degree too rather than a BA degree because somehow the BS seems more appropriate.

And what would a new college graduate need most you might ask? A new job perhaps? Well, hunky dory lucky me, I have one of those too. Hot DAMN this has been a good summer for me.

The job thing is totally a silver lining behind the dark cloud sort of thing too. I had a conflict at work that was enough to get me looking for another job. I happened to check craigslist for reasons I don't even know because I would never have thought to look for a job there. I guess I was thinking that it wouldn't hurt to be thorough. Anyhoo...there was only one job there but it was The Job. It was the kind of job where, when I read the job description, I just couldn't even believe it. It had crossed my mind that one of my friends who knew I was job hunting had put it there as a prank. It was that good. It is a tech support position at a small software company but one that is growing and one where there will be many opportunities for me to grow along with them. I am going to learn some really exciting things.

I sent my resume. It never hurts to do that. Within a couple of days, I had my first interview. It was one of the best interviews I have ever had in my life. The guy who interviewed me even used to work with one of the people I had listed as a reference! I met some of the other people who work there. I thought everyone was really nice. I got this feeling that I would fit in well. The offices have WINDOWS! Seriously, work for eight years in a windowless cubicle and then laugh when someone suggests that something like a window can be the icing on the cake of a good job. Anyways, a couple of days later, on my last day in Michigan before leaving on vacation, I had a second interview and a job offer. Man, did *that* make my vacation extra nice.

So, I have a week and a half here at my current job. I start my new job on 8/27. I’ll be working in downtown Ann Arbor. I don't know what I'll do about parking yet. Most likely, I'll start taking the bus to work.

Oh and the week I got my job offer, my brother got a really good promotion at work and my parents won all of their sailboat races. So when it rains, it pours eh? My mother says that someone in our family needs to buy a lotto ticket!

Job Hunting

It turns out that the anxiety I was feeling yesterday at work was totally and completely well founded. I am currently looking for another job. I think that finding another job is a skill and one that I have never really cultivated in myself. The truth is that I have never gotten a job where someone I know didnt ask me to come apply. Jobs in the past have landed in my lap. I dont think I am good at selling myself.

But I need to get better at that. I have a lot of skills that someone surely will find useful. The question is how can I make others see that I am a hard worker and that I am really smart? I work well with others. I actually really love giving really good customer service because there is nothing nicer than making people happy all day or making other people's jobs easier. I am really good at that too.

Anyways, I think the hardest part of this is going to be all of the rejection I am likely to get. I mean everyone I know who has gone on a job search has always had to apply for several jobs and has always needed to go on several job interviews. I think I am ready for that though. I think I can present myself well. So wish me luck!

Angst and The Rules

I feel really weird at the moment. I guess it is a feeling that can best be described as angst. Probably it is just a normal worry about the next horrible situation at work that I am likely to have to deal with. I hope that is what it is. I wasnt feeling this earlier in the day.

Today actually started out pretty good. I had an email from a long lost friend in my inbox and that made me really happy as he was at one time one of my very best friends. We've just fallen out of touch in recent years which happens sometimes. I kind of had to laugh though because I have been saying "I know that I never call and never write but that doesnt mean that I dont love you" to a lot of people lately.

Which kind of reminds me of that lovely dating handbook The Rules. Because one of the things they keep saying over and over is that if someone is interested in you or cares, they will call. I KNOW that isnt true because there are a lot of people in this world whom I LOVE dearly and whom I seldom call. I found a copy in the free book room lately and brought it home. I figured it would be good for a laugh. And it was. I mean the whole thing is just chock full of crazy rules that I cant imagine might work. I can say that out of a sense of curiosity, I decided to follow all of "The Rules" for one week. They didnt work for me any better than the more traditional dating advice of "just be yourself." The advantage of the latter though is that I kind of like being myself. So I am going to stick to that one.

Reading The Rules did get me thinking about some things. Mostly I thought the entire thing was complete bullshit. I had to wonder how I might feel if following The Rules had helped me. I mean, it is basically a manual on manipulation. Not my thing really. And I think I would resent being with someone if I felt that I had had to manipulate him into being with me. Ah well, the chapters are short and it is good bathroom reading. Like most things there are a couple of good points tucked in there here and there. Things like, you cant change people so if the guy you are dating isnt treating you well when you are dating, the odds are that he wont suddenly shape up once he has a wedding ring on his finger. But ok. Other than that, it is pretty much bullshit.

Power and Control: The Corporate World

I had a conversation with a co-worker today about a former supervisor of mine. More than any other supervisor, I really disliked working for this guy. One time I even got so upset with him that I stood up and walked out. I have never done that before or since but that day, my choice was to calmly say that I wasnt feeling well before walking out or to start screaming my head off. I guessed that the latter action would have been rather embarrassing for me.

Mostly what I didnt like about this guy was how controlling he was. He was constantly looking over everyone's shoulders to try to catch us surfing the web. He got himself on a committee to change the dress code to one that was more restrictive. He would just randomly tell people to do things and would get angry if anyone questioned him at ALL. The time I got upset with him, I was clocked out but sitting at my desk when he came and told me to move. I said that I was at lunch and he said that it didnt matter.

So I said that I would move right on over to the time clock to punch in and he forbade me to punch in so I told him that I was punching in and if he had a problem with it, he should discuss it with the HR department and then in my own special "fuck you" kind of way that I know others find annoying, I told him that when he talked to the HR department he might want to mention the FLSA and the Dept of Labor's views about firms having their employees work off the clock.

Basically, a little bit of labor law worked in my favor that day. He couldnt fire me because it would have been illegal (and an incident with another co-worker that happened a week later kind of led me to believe that he would have fired me if he could have). I was insubordinate but since he was telling me to do something illegal, I was protected.

The funny thing about this guy too was that he actually is a pretty nice guy in every other situation. He is not alone. So many people, when given any kind of power over anyone else, act as if someone had just given them a jackass pill! That is what happens when one guy gets to supervise 8 people. What happens to people who find themselves in charge of large corporations?

The other day I was watching a documentary about Ralph Nader. They mentioned that after _Unsafe at Any Speed_ was published, Nader thought he was being followed. Nader reported that strange women would come up to him in places like the grocery store and ask him out. My first thought was "man, that guy is paranoid" but then they started interviewing people who backed up his story. They interviewed people who had noticed he was being tailed. They interviewed people who had been getting strange phone calls asking them for information about Nader. Was he fucking anyone? Was he a pot smoker? etc.

It turned out that it was GM who was doing all of this in an effort to discredit the Nader. They even admitted that they sent the sexy women to try to seduce him so he could be found in a compromising position! Now that is a company with too much power, imho. It was too bad for them that Nader is such a nerd because they never were able to find any dirt on him. It pretty much took an act of congress to get GM to lay off!

It got me thinking about large corporations and the power they wield. I worry that our current SCOTUS is giving too much power to corporations by essentially making some of the labor laws and antitrust laws meaningless. I worry that a lot of people have an attitude that corporations should be allowed to amass huge amounts of power.

I am not really sure what I can do about it other than to talk about it and to remind people that who they vote for in the presidential election can really make a difference with this. The damage in this area done by the Bush administration and their appointees to the court might last for decades. Who knows how much more powerful large corporations might become in the mean time?

I also think that besides voting, it is very important to support consumer activists who work hard getting the word out about corporate misdoings. The corporations have a lot of power but they *need* the rest of us as labor, as consumers, and as stockholders.

So let's all just think about all of this a little bit. What kind of world do we want? One where we are powerless and subject to the whims of the CEO class or one where we have regulated capitalism designed to keep any one firm from growing too large?

Universal Health Care

There are many reasons why universal health care would be a good idea. I am going to talk about just one of them: The lack of universal health care gives too much power to large corporations when it comes to employee/employer relationships.

Under our current system, people can get health insurance or coverage only in certain ways. They can be a veteran which allows them to access the VA health care system. They can be old enough for medicare or poor enough for medicaid. Or, they can get their health insurance from their employer. Most people get their health insurance from their employer.

Because of the nature of insurance and spreading risk over groups, larger employers can provide better health care benefits than smaller employers who in turn can provide better benefits than what an individual could buy with the same amount of money. In other words, large corporations have a big edge over small businesses and the self employed.

The lack of universal health care can stifle entrepreneurship. People can find themselves chained to employment at Big Company or at the very least they are less likely to try to go it alone since even if they are successful enough at starting a business that they can eventually get some employees, they *still* cant provide health insurance at the same low cost that large employers do. In the labor market, workers look at total compensation packages. They add up wages +benefits and come up with some idea of the total compensation. They dont care that company A can provide health care at half the cost of small business B. So small businesses lose out and fewer people become self employed which over a long period of time can mean that larger segments of the work force end up working for large corporations.

Having an employer provide health care benefits also gives them an incentive to discriminate. A pure profit driven incentive too. Which means, that companies who discriminate and thus are able to lower the rates of illness in their group will be more successful than companies who dont. (And trust me, a result of at least one SCOTUS decision, large companies will probably be able to get away with discriminating even if there are laws prohibiting it). For example, companies might do what they can do in order to reduce the age of their workforce. They might decide not to hire fat people. They might decide not to hire people who smoke even if they dont smoke at work. They might decide that people of certain races are more risky health wise and they might avoid hiring them. They might be wary of hiring the disabled. And so on. I am sure there are many ways that employers can unfairly discriminate against groups of people with a goal of reducing health care costs.

Universal health care does two things that take power away from large corporations in the labor market.

#1 - universal health care is likely to result in an increase in the number of non-corporate jobs out there. It will increase the self employed which in turn is likely to increase small businesses. That would mean a smaller percentage of the jobs would be in large corporations. Would people still work for large corporations? You betcha! It just would mean more options available.

#2 - universal health care would reduce a very real economic incentive for employers to discriminate against groups of people in our society. It will also provide them one less excuse for prying into employee's personal lives.

Work: When Less is More

I have been saying for years that Americans simply work too much. And by work too much, I mean that Americans are "at work" for too long not that we get too much done. You see, every person has a limit and at some point in the day, almost everyone gets a little burned out. I know that in the latter part of the day, I have no ability to focus on much at all.

So I found This Article in The NYT rather interesting.

The thing is, *everyone* I know wastes time at work. People might be clocked in for 8 hours a day but no one does 8 hours of work or rather no one does 8 times the work they do in a really productive hour. Some people work slower the rest of the time. Some people take lots of "mini-breaks" where they surf the net or just stare off into space when management takes measures to stop the web surfing. Some people chit chat with their co-workers. There are a million different ways to goof off at work.

The managers where I work have done everything they can to limit goofing off. They break up conversations so no one can chit chat. They have designed the work space so that everyone's monitors are in view so they can just walk up and down the aisles to make sure no one surfing. They monitor people as closely as they can.

But it doesnt work. One of the things I observe with great interest is all the many ways people hide their goofing off. They have mirrors in their cubes so they can see if a manager is coming. They also have ears which allow them to hear the managers walking towards them. They chit-chat only with co-workers who work near them so both talkers can remain seated since the primary way management knows they are talking is when they see them standing up. Generally people put great energy into hiding their goofing off. Some people I know who work in other jobs make it a point to go to work early and to stay late just so the boss will think they are hard workers. When I ask them if they think they get more done by doing that, they almost always say that they dont get more work done or they only get a little bit more done. The extra time is purely for appearances.

But what if people didnt have to do that? What if people really were judged on the amount of work they do rather than how busy they appear to be while at work. What would happen if people focused just half of all that energy into work? Would they be more productive? I think that most people would be. And most people would find themselves a bit less stressed out and that goes double for people with families. Sometimes I think about the impact such a change in the working culture would mean to people who raise children or care for elderly relatives, I get all angry that we dont have a movement blooming where workers demand it.

But then, I think that a lot of people, managers and workers alike, simply cannot believe that most people will do the same amount of work in six hours a day as they do in eight. When I go off on this particular rant (which is one of my favorites, as anyone who hangs out with me face to face can tell you.), I am always amazed at how many people just can't believe it is true. Or they believe that it is because people are lazy and if they could just come up with some better method to make sure people goof off less, they could squeeze more work out of people.

Oh well, maybe someday

Still a Loser!

I am bummed because I didnt get that job with the non-profit I applied for recently. I cant remember if I mentioned it here or not. But about six weeks ago, I applied for a pretty cool job with a private foundation. I did get four interviews into the process though so I must have been seriously considered. That is something I guess.

Anyways, I always have a hard time dealing with rejection and to be honest, that has me more bummed out than not getting the job. Oh well. There will be many many other jobs I can apply for and I imagine that I'll get turned down for most of them which will give me lots of opportunities to work on whatever issues with rejection I might have. And the HR person was nice enough to tell me the reason they picked someone over me and it certainly was a valid reason. They picked someone who already has been working for that particular non-profit so they are more familiar with it. I will just remember that old cliche that successful people tend to fail a lot because successful people takes risks and try. Yup. I am going to keep trying. I am going to be that kind of loser guy who always has dates because he asks *everyone* out ;)

It is funny too how the whole "sour grapes" thing can kick in so powerfully. I mean, my thought pattern right now is that I really didnt want that job anyways. I am really feeling that too even though I know it is a lie and that I really *did* want the job. But you know, it wouldnt have given me the experience needed to advance in the direction I think I might want to go and I am pretty sure that if they hired me at close to my current salary, I would have been at the upper end of the pay range for the job which isnt exactly the best position to be in if one wants things like raises. And so on.

In the mean time, another person has quit my small team of six. Someone else was fired recently too so we are down two. That means, of course, that I will spend the next several months working my butt off just to keep my head above water. Even if they hire replacements soon, it will take a while to get them up to speed. And ok, I'll admit that a big reason I wanted that other job was so that I wouldnt have to deal with the mess that is coming now that we are so short staffed.

The Grass is Always Greener

I went back to work today where I found out that I will most likely be disqualified from the short term disability benefit because I went into work last friday which means that the one week waiting period reset. As it happens, I would have only been entitled to 80% of 24 hours of pay. I've missed 64 hours of work and would be required to use personal/vacation days for the first forty hours anyways. Still it is frustrating because I went into work last Friday mostly because I felt guilty about staying home even when I was sick. And maybe I didnt really want to admit that I was as sick as I was. Oh well.

This whole sickness has really brought up a lot of feelings of frustration. This business of missing out on some money reminds me that I have allowed myself to be in a financial situation that I dont like. It also reminds me yet again of how fragile a body can be. One good flu virus and you're out for a couple of weeks! And it can be worse too. Arent we all just one good car accident away from being laid up for weeks and weeks... or worse?

And of course, there is that feeling I get once in a while that it just really sucks being single. And I know that is a complete example of The-Grass-Is-Greener thinking as a good friend reminded me when I was whining about it on the phone earlier this week. She reminded me that spouses can be a lot of work and that when one in a twosome gets some highly contagious illness, it is very likely that the other one will too and then you're not only sick but you have to put up with someone else's hacking cough in the middle of the night. But of course in my mind, I would be married to someone immune to all illnesses ;)

Seriously though. It is one of the weird parts of my personality that I could probably spend a fortune on therapy figuring out. On the one hand, I have a real desire to have someone take care of me and I mean totally. Financially, emotionally, make me chicken soup, etc. And on the other hand, I *hate* letting my friends help me. I turned down a lot of offers of help this past week. So I long for something that I hate getting. How fucked up is that?

Oh well. I am better now. My health has returned. My tax refund will spare me any serious financial issues. My good humor will be back before too long and things will seem rosy again. I mean it is almost summer time and even if I cant afford to go on some special vacation, I can spend a lot of days swimming under blue skies and that is something.

All is well

I know that I have not written much here lately. Mostly it is because I have gotten very busy at work. It turns out that being busy at work even effects my blogging from home. I often find that I am pretty spent at the end of the day. So I come home and just veg. I think things will get worse at work too in the near future. But that is ok, being busy at work makes the days there seem shorter. And once I am done with the school thing, I’ll have extra leisure time.

I didnt get that job I mentioned in another post but I did get some good feedback from the person who interviewed me. I didnt interview quite as badly as I thought. She also gave me some really good suggestions for what I need to do if I want a similar position including telling me about a different job I might consider applying for (I applied for it).

I also had an interview today for a totally non-IT related job that sounds very fun. I have been scheduled for a second interview which seems promising. I think that interview went better than the other one. So we'll see. Wish me good luck!

I'm a Loser, Baby!

It has been a week of failure here in my world this week.

I had a big test in my Biology class. And ok, I didnt fail it but I got a grade that is pretty...how shall we say??? Oh AVERAGE (translation: A ‘C’). I asked to see my answers on the test because I thought I would do better than that. It turned out that there were a couple of answers that I *knew* and still got wrong. Like something possessed me to mark the wrong answer down or something. It was weird and I know I had a thought that most college students would not have: Am I getting forgetful in my old age? Oh well, I am not too worried about it. I expect to pass this class with a C before the age related dementia really sets in. Maybe even before I need reading glasses

I applied for a job at work and I had my interview for it this week. Interviewing is not my strong suit and I *really* bombed this one. Then, later on I found out that this job which I had thought as being maybe one step up the ladder is actually way WAY up the food chain. It wasnt quite like the Janitor applying to be CEO but it was along those lines. In my defense though, I met all of the criteria that the HR people put in the job description except for the ‘business related degree’. I figured that I am about to have a degree in Economics so it wouldnt hurt to apply.

I just hope that no one there will hold that interview against me when I apply for some other job. And ok, I *did* apply for another job and one in a completely different department than the one I work in that happens to be the HR department.

So, cos I am such a failure...I will end this entry with a bit of a cliche. I do not really feel badly about this week. You see, there is one thing successful people almost all have in common. That one thing is FAILURE and sometimes a lot of it. Because you see, one thing you have to do to succeed is try. And the trying leads to failure a lot of the time. But I am no worse off for taking a Biology class (although I might be scarred by the fetal pig cutting up lab). I am no worse off for applying for a job that is out of my league. Well no worse off unless the HR person who interviewed me thinks I am crazy ass who wasted her time. But I probably wasnt THAT bad in the interview.

Entitlement

It was snowing as I was driving home from work tonight. I will admit that I am something of a snow wimp even with the new tires on my car. I was driving at 40mph in a 45mph zone which on a snowy night isnt really all *that* slow, imho. There was a car tailgating me and I tried to ignore it but after a while, I realized that it was only inches from my rear bumper which kind of made me nervous and ok...a little pissed off. So I slowed down a bit hoping the guy would get the hint and back off. He didnt but because I slowed down, we both ended up getting caught at a red light we might have otherwise made. As soon as the light turned green and before I had a chance to move my foot onto the gas pedal, the guy started honking at me. The road opened up to two lanes in my direction by the next light. I caught a glimpse of him flipping me off as his Audi raced by. I flipped him off back but he couldnt see me because he was already past me.

I got to thinking about the level of entitlement that guy obviously was feeling. Entitled to the road. A feeling I admit to having myself sometimes. I know how really annoying other drivers can be. But still, why would he and to a lesser extent, me, have such feelings?

I was reminded of a recent episode at my work. I work for a large company in tech support. My team is currently very short handed and I am swamped. It would take me at least two weeks to get to the current cases waiting for my attention if I didnt get new ones every day. People have to wait for *weeks* to get some pretty annoying things fixed. Sometimes it takes days to get to anything less than a dire emergency.

But last week the CEO of the company had a problem. A problem so minor that if it were happening to my computer, I might just ignore it. Basically it has to do with the recent changes to Daylight Saving Time (It's been moved from April to the middle of March). But, minor as it is, it is a problem happening to the CEO. So, the next thing I know, my boss has me put the issue at the top of list -- highest priority! And the next thing I know, half of the IT department is holding meetings about this and running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

I cant exactly blame them for the reaction. I mean, the guy does have power over us all and could fire any one of us at any time. It got me thinking though about an article I read years ago written by some guy at the medical school at Cornell about a condition he called Acquired Situational Narcissism. The article was about how when a person becomes famous, people start treating them like they are VERY IMPORTANT and eventually, they develop symptoms of narcissism. I guess the idea is that because everyone around them is treating them like they are VERY IMPORTANT, they start to believe that they are better than everyone else.

I am not saying that the CEO at my company is like that. I have no idea if he is. I have never met him. But it got me thinking. Is this why so many rich white guys seem to act so entitled all the time? Maybe when they are driving at night on a snowy road behind a ten year old Volkswagen? Is this why guys like those executives at Enron can lie and steal and ruin other people's lives and still not get it that doing that is wrong? Would *I* start acting like a jerk if I were in their place? I like to think not, of course, but I dont really know.

Work Rant

Argh.

I have had a really hard day at work today. Most of my day has been spent trying to clean a virus off of someone’s computer. I have failed. It sucks investing time into something and then having it not work out. I am going to build this person a new PC. I’ll transfer her files one by one over to my pc where I will make sure they aren’t infected and then put them onto the new pc. All of that will take me about an hour.

Anyhow, I am reminded of one of those clichés you always here in the business world: “Don’t throw good money after bad.” In this case, it was my time. I spent hours working on this computer today. At any time, I could have decided to just re-image it. But I kept thinking, I’ve already put in 2 hours, it seems a shame to waste that two hours by giving up NOW. Of course the two hours was gone no matter what. So I ended up spending ANOTHER couple of hours trying to fix everything and in the end, I ended up wasting a pretty good chunk of time.

Oh well. I guess one day of bad time management wont hurt me but it is frustrating.

Oh and a pox on anyone who writes a computer virus or worm. They are evil.