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Monday, February 13, 2006

What is up with those feminist bitches?

This morning, Ypsidixit had a post about a recent op-ed piece in the Eastern Echo. I felt that I needed to respond to to this article which is reproduced below in italics. The original article can be found HERE



Society must find more testosterone
By Randy Wood / Staff Writer
MONDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 2006
Good morning, EMU. By the time you read this, we can only hope that Jerome Bettis has earned his Super Bowl ring. It's great to have a football team to finally root for in Detroit, even if they are from the other side of Lake Erie. Win or loose, we can be sure it was a great story to have the bus come home to Detroit.
I love the Super Bowl. I love football in general, but more and more responsibilities lead to less and less time to watch games. At least we will always have the Super Bowl. I can't think of any other event where it is not only allowed but expected to have men gather to drink beer, eat barbeque, and watch football as they whoop and holler and curse calls from the officials. Just thinking about getting all the guys together for this sacred tradition makes me want to grunt a la Tim Allen. It is on the cusp of this great event that I need to get some things off my chest!
Our society is getting more and more feminized. Don't believe me? Turn on the T.V. You'll certainly see advertisements for "feminine products" every minute or two. Some people see this as a great progression that the United States is going through. They point to women in the workplace as the pinnacle of a modern society. While the rights of women are certainly no laughing matter, I'm writing this in the days leading up to the Super Bowl, so I really just don't care if some chick doesn't see the humor in this article. Unless she's really hot.




I have never heard anyone other than the Randy Woods say that having advertisements for “feminine products” on TV is a sign of any kind of great progression in the women’s rights movement. He is right though; our society is getting more and more feminized. And gosh darn it if you let women watch tampon commercials on TV, they might actually expect other changes too. Besides the great victories of having tampon commercials on TV and actually being allowed in the workplace (at much lower wages) that Mr. Woods has mentioned, more and more women are beginning to see that maybe it is time for women to be treated more fairly. Once those uppity broads were allowed to vote, they started getting all kinds of crazy ideas into their heads. Some of them decided it would be ok to own their own property even without a man. I know, I know, it sounds crazy but give a dame an inch and she’ll take a mile. Let her vote and next she’ll be squawking about running for office and then you have Hillary Rodham-Clinton. NEED I SAY MORE? There are even women out there who think they can live without a man. It’s crazy, I know! But seriously some of them do it. Luckily it is mostly the old, fat, ugly ones who don’t count anyways. Whew.



Men are becoming more and more confused as to the proper way to act around women. This becomes extremely apparent when you see the woman who is, shall we say "endowed" wearing the low cut shirt with sparkly lettering getting offended when a guy (gasp) looks at her rack! This goes for the other side of a woman as well. Ladies, if you're wearing pants that are so tight that they look as if your backside is begging to be liberated, then don't you dare complain if you hear a catcall or two. Speaking of catcalls, do they even exist anymore? Men have been indoctrinated with this notion that if you whistle at a woman you don't know, that's immediate grounds for your castration.



Oh those crazy broads! Sometimes they act as if they have some other purpose in this world other than to provide men with sexual pleasure. Those tarts are begging for it when they dress that way. There is no way it is possible that a woman might dress a certain way for reasons other than to entice or attract a man. I mean come on! Everyone knows that a woman is only worth what some guy says she is worth. They should THANK Mr. Woods when he catcalls to them because he is a man and when he does that, he is letting them know that their butts and boobs have value. When a woman dresses like a whore, she is practically begging to be treated like one. It is just like how women LIKE to be raped. They let men know this by dressing in sexy clothes. Their lips might say “no” but their exposed cleavage says “yes”. If a woman doesn’t want to be treated that way, she should wear a burka. How dare a woman expect to be treated as a whole person and not just tits and an ass paraded for a man’s pleasure?



Not only are men expected to act like sissies in public, but many men are so confused they actually think they have to check their testosterone at the door as soon as they get a "serious" girlfriend. I'm sure everyone knows a guy who is dating a woman who defiantly "wears the pants" in the relationship. This is one of the saddest trends I've ever seen. As much of a crack-head as Freud was, he was on to something. Some guys need to call and ask permission to stay after work and have a beer with the guys! As a man, the only time you need to ask permission from your woman is when you're feeling nasty...



Oh my goodness! What is up with those feminist bitches these days? Going around wearing pants! How sad. Call your woman to let her know you’ll be home late? Dude, that is just like asking for permission and a man should be in charge. His actions are always right. Her job is to stay home and clean the place and take care of the kids so that he can enjoy himself out with his friends after work. Duh. It is wrong wrong WRONG that there are men in this world who dare to show a little consideration for their significant others. What a bad example that sets for the other guys or worse for the girlfriends of the other guys who might start to expect to be treated better than a servant.



The media's role? Not only do we have to sit through those damn commercials, but every show out there is about some loser guy and a hot chick. The hot chick is of course smarter than the guy, and it's so funny. Go watch an old "I Love Lucy" episode. (That was an old sitcom; ask a professor about it.) She had an allowance! Could you imagine what would happen if that show was made today? There would be mobs of short-haired women burning down television offices. It would be hilarious. As far as movies go, are there any comedies anymore? Every damn film is a "romantic comedy" with a guy falling in love at the end. It's pathetic. They try and make them more interesting by showing us topless babes for a few brief moments. Unfortunately, we're the Internet generation; we've seen pictures of topless women. Let's see some stuff blow up!



Randy, you’ve got a lot of ‘splanin to do! Wouldn’t it be nice to go back to a time when men had total control over their women the way Fred and Ricky controlled their wives? Yeah, those guys really knew how to lay down the law and Lucy and Ethel were submissive and obedient and were just like how women should be, except for the part where they are smarter and funnier than their husbands but since they made sure everyone knew who had the *financial* power by talking about the women’s allowances, I think we can forgive them for showing a woman who is smarter than a man. At least it wasn’t like today when they show women who are hot AND smarter than a man. Hellooooo? As if some floozy on TV could ever be smarter than a man. What are those TV people thinking?



If there are any women out there who are still reading this, good for you. Guys, there's still hope for real men. No matter how much they complain or how much they beg you to "share your feelings" with them, we can still be men. How? Because somewhere, deep down in the core of every woman, she wants a man. Not some sissified, whining, sniveling, limp-wristed, "Brokeback Mountain"-watching, talk-about-our-relationship girlie man. They are genetically drawn to the strong, gun-toting, meat-eating, cigar-smoking, bar-brawling, rock solid men. They can try to hide it all they want. But in the end, they actually like guys to act like men.



Thank goodness there are still women who know their place. Women who know that men are supposed to be men and women are supposed to be [Pick one or more: whores, maids, sluts, broads, dames, chicks, floozies, tarts, tramps, skirts, dolls, gals, or tooties]. Women don’t want nice men who treat then well. They want abuse and lots of it. Heck, if you don’t slap your woman around at least once a week, you are cheating her out of having a real man. I gotta say though, Mr. Woods. Do NOT, I repeat do NOT let your woman see “Brokeback Mountain” because she will watch it and will see some seriously strong, gun-toting, meat-eating, cigar-smoking, bar-brawling, rock solid men on the big screen who are well…kind of sissy if you know what I mean, she might start to question YOUR masculinity. Better to smack her on the ass and have her bring you another beer.



So next year when you're watching the Big Game, if your woman feels left out of the fun, smack her on the ass and have her bring you another beer. And to think they say football brings out the immature side of men.



And to think that football brings out the misogynistic side of men

3 comments:

Sandy said...

Now *that* was funny. Freud was quite the mysogynist - I ran across this lovely quote by him the other day: "We must not allow ourselves to be deflected by the feminists who are anxious to force us to regard the two sexes as completely equal in position and worth."

Holly said...

hey i had to move, so here is my new site.

islandarts said...

WOW, I can't believe that guy actually was stupid enough to take the time to type out that crap.
Lucy may have had an allowance but she still did whatever she pleased- Ricky did not wear the 'pants' in that house.