(With Thanks to Douglas Adams)
On the day of the Great On-Turning two soberly dressed programmers with briefcases arrived. ... Their names were Lunkwill and Fook.
For a few moments they sat in respectful silence, then, after exchanging a quiet glance with Fook, Lunkwill leaned forward and touched a small black panel.
The subtlest of hums indicated that the massive computer was now in total active mode. After a pause it spoke to them in a voice rich, resonant and deep.
It said: "What is this great task for which I, Deep Thought, ... have been called into existence? ...
"O Deep Thought computer," Fook said, "the task we have designed you to perform is this. We want you to tell us ..." he paused, "the Answer!"
"The Answer?" said Deep Thought. "The Answer to what?"
"Life!" urged Fook. "The Universe!" said Lunkwill.
"Everything!" they said in chorus.
Deep Thought paused for a moment's reflection.
"Tricky," he said finally.
"But can you do it?"
Again, a significant pause.
"Yes," said Deep Thought, "I can do it."
"There is an answer?" said Fook with breathless excitement. "A simple answer?" added Lunkwill.
"Yes" said Deep Thought. "Life, the Universe, and Everything. There is an answer.
But," he added, "I'll have to think about it." ...
The hum level in the room suddenly increased as several ancillary bass driver units, mounted in sedately carved and varnished cabinet speakers around the room, cut in to give Deep Thought's voice a little more power.
"All I wanted to say," bellowed the computer, "is that my circuits are now irrevocably committed to calculating the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything." He paused and satisfied himself that he now had everyone's attention, before continuing more quietly.
"But the program will take me a little while to run."
Fook glanced impatiently at his watch.
"How long?" he said.
"Seven and a half million years," said Deep Thought.
Lunkwill and Fook blinked at each other. "Seven and a half million years!" they cried in chorus. ...
[Seven and a half million years later]
[There] was a pretty tree-lined city square, and all around it as far as the eye could see were white concrete buildings of airy spacious design but somewhat the worse for wear ... many were cracked and stained with rain. Today, however, the sun was shining, a fresh breeze danced lightly through the trees, and the odd sensation that all the buildings were quietly humming was probably caused by the fact that the square and all the streets around it were thronged with cheerful excited people. Somewhere a band was playing, brightly colored flags were fluttering in the breeze and the spirit of carnival was in the air. ...
A man standing on a brightly dressed dais before the building which clearly dominated the square was addressing the crowd over a tannoy.
"O people who wait in the shadow of Deep Thought!" he cried out. "\x{2026}the Time of Waiting is over!"
Wild cheers broke out among the crowd. Flags, streamers and wolf whistles sailed through the air. The narrower streets looked rather like centipedes rolled over on their backs and frantically waving their legs in the air.
"Seven and a half million years our race has waited for this Great and Hopefully Enlightening Day!" cried the cheerleader. "The Day of the Answer!"
Hurrahs burst from the ecstatic crowd. "Never again," cried the man, "never again will we wake up in the morning and think Who am I? What is my purpose in life? Does it really, cosmically speaking, matter if I don't get up and go to work? For today we will finally learn once and for all the plain and simple answer to all these nagging little problems of Life, the Universe and Everything!" ...
Two severely dressed men sat respectfully before the terminal and waited.
"The time is nearly upon us," said one.
"Seventy-five thousand generations ago, our ancestors set this program in motion," the second man said, "and in all that time we will be the first to hear the computer speak."
"An awesome prospect, Phouchg," agreed the first man ...
"We are the ones who will hear," said Phouchg, "the answer to the great question of Life ...!"
"The Universe ...!" said Loonquawl.
"And Everything ... !"
"Shhh," said Loonquawl with a slight gesture, "I think Deep Thought is preparing to speak!"
There was a moment's expectant pause while panels slowly came to life on the front of the console. Lights flashed on and off experimentally and settled down into a businesslike pattern. A soft low hum came from the communication channel.
"Good morning," said Deep Thought at last.
"Er ... good morning, O Deep Thought," said Loonquawl nervously, "do you have ... er, that is ..."
"An answer for you?" interrupted Deep Thought majestically. "Yes, I have."
The two men shivered with expectancy. Their waiting had not been in vain.
"There really is one?" breathed Phouchg.
"There really is one," confirmed Deep Thought.
"To Everything? To the great Question of Life, the Universe and Everything?"
"Yes."
Both of the men had been trained for this moment, their lives had been a preparation for it, they had been selected at birth as those who would witness the answer, but even so they found themselves gasping and squirming like excited children.
"And you're ready to give it to us?" urged Loonquawl.
"I am."
"Now?"
"Now," said Deep Thought. ...
"Tell us!"
"All right," said Deep Thought. "The Answer to the Great Question ..."
"Yes ... !"
"Of Life, the Universe and Everything ..." said Deep Thought.
"Yes ... !"
"Is ... " said Deep Thought, and paused.
"Yes ... !"
"Is ... "
"Yes ... !!! ... ?"
"Forty-two," said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm. ...
"Forty-two!" yelled Loonquawl. "Is that all you've got to show for seven and a half million years' work?"
"I checked it very thoroughly," said the computer, "and that quite definitely is the answer. I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is."
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Thursday, September 02, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Ypsilanti Dog Drama
Tonight I was meeting some neighbors for dinner at Sidetrack. I rushed home from work so I could get home in time to let my dogs play with my neighbor's dog, Cali. But, alas, Cali was not home. Cali's owner was home, however, and was quite worried. Cali had somehow escaped from my neighbor's gated front porch in the early morning. Naturally I was concerned because it isnt the norm for a dog that has run away to stay gone for so long or at least it never has been for most of the dogs I have owned. I took Tasha and little Maggie for a bit of a spin around the 'hood hoping to find Cali but we did not.
I had to meet people at Sidetrack so I put my dogs back in the house and headed over to meet my neighbors at Sidetrack. But as I was walking by the Food Coop, guess who was tied up out front. CALI! A staff person from the coop was standing outside and I asked about Cali and let her know that she was my neighbor's dog. Right then Cali jumped up on me which is something I have working with her on but apparently not very well because she keeps jumping on me when she is excited. I gave her a stern "NO JUMP" as is my habit and noticed a woman standing nearby giving me a very dirty look. Then she said, "If you didn't want the dog to jump on you, you shouldnt stand by her"
I replied, "She just isn't especially well behaved all of the time"
The woman wigged out. Her name is "Hope" which I have to admit is something I find highly ironic. Apparently in her world, suggesting that a dog might not be the model of good behavior is akin to serious abuse. At any rate, I started doing the whole thing of offering to take the dog home and whatnot. Hope just wasnt having any of it. Others tried to convince her that a. No one told me the dog was lost, I just knew. and b. Cali obviously knows me therefore I am probably telling the truth about knowing where the dog belongs.
She just started some crazy ranting about how I wasn't fit to own the dog because she wasn't fixed or because she got loose and a whole lot of other reasons. I kept explaining that the dog wasn't mine. I probably shouldn't have but I gave her a little lecture about how sometimes one might not approve of how someone else is raising their dogs (or children) but that doesn't mean one can just take the dog (or kids) away themselves.
I went to get a leash to take Cali home and Hope, seeing that I meant to take the dog home decided to try to leave. I just couldnt let that happen because I was worried that if she left, knowing only her first name, no one would ever see this dog again. I know that my neighbor would have been heartbroken but the truth is that I really like this dog too and have been really enjoying having her over every evening to play in my yard. The only way I could think of to stop her in that moment was to grab onto Cali's collar. She tugged and I tugged and sadly, we hurt Cali and caused her neck to bleed. I deeply regret that since my intention wasn't to hurt her. I guess when the adrenalin is high, it is easier than one might think to be rougher than one intended. Still, I couldn't let her take Cali so I don't regret stopping her from leaving.
Eventually some very wonderful women intervened. They helped calm everyone down and called the police. I also was very impressed with the way the Ypsilanti Police dept handled the situation. My neighbor got her dog back and I wasn't arrested for punching Hope in the face. Mostly because I didn't punch anyone in the face. That was because of those two awesome women and because of the police officers timely arrival.
I had to meet people at Sidetrack so I put my dogs back in the house and headed over to meet my neighbors at Sidetrack. But as I was walking by the Food Coop, guess who was tied up out front. CALI! A staff person from the coop was standing outside and I asked about Cali and let her know that she was my neighbor's dog. Right then Cali jumped up on me which is something I have working with her on but apparently not very well because she keeps jumping on me when she is excited. I gave her a stern "NO JUMP" as is my habit and noticed a woman standing nearby giving me a very dirty look. Then she said, "If you didn't want the dog to jump on you, you shouldnt stand by her"
I replied, "She just isn't especially well behaved all of the time"
The woman wigged out. Her name is "Hope" which I have to admit is something I find highly ironic. Apparently in her world, suggesting that a dog might not be the model of good behavior is akin to serious abuse. At any rate, I started doing the whole thing of offering to take the dog home and whatnot. Hope just wasnt having any of it. Others tried to convince her that a. No one told me the dog was lost, I just knew. and b. Cali obviously knows me therefore I am probably telling the truth about knowing where the dog belongs.
She just started some crazy ranting about how I wasn't fit to own the dog because she wasn't fixed or because she got loose and a whole lot of other reasons. I kept explaining that the dog wasn't mine. I probably shouldn't have but I gave her a little lecture about how sometimes one might not approve of how someone else is raising their dogs (or children) but that doesn't mean one can just take the dog (or kids) away themselves.
I went to get a leash to take Cali home and Hope, seeing that I meant to take the dog home decided to try to leave. I just couldnt let that happen because I was worried that if she left, knowing only her first name, no one would ever see this dog again. I know that my neighbor would have been heartbroken but the truth is that I really like this dog too and have been really enjoying having her over every evening to play in my yard. The only way I could think of to stop her in that moment was to grab onto Cali's collar. She tugged and I tugged and sadly, we hurt Cali and caused her neck to bleed. I deeply regret that since my intention wasn't to hurt her. I guess when the adrenalin is high, it is easier than one might think to be rougher than one intended. Still, I couldn't let her take Cali so I don't regret stopping her from leaving.
Eventually some very wonderful women intervened. They helped calm everyone down and called the police. I also was very impressed with the way the Ypsilanti Police dept handled the situation. My neighbor got her dog back and I wasn't arrested for punching Hope in the face. Mostly because I didn't punch anyone in the face. That was because of those two awesome women and because of the police officers timely arrival.
Friday, March 13, 2009
City of Ypsilanti Does the Right Thing
I am very happy that the City of Ypsilanti has decided to do right by its citizens and waive the fines from the recent snow ordinance enforcement fiasco. My faith in the city has been restored as has my trust in city employees.
Here is a link to the story in the Ypsi Citizen
Ypsilanti Citizen: City Waives Snow Removal Fees
Here is a link to the story in the Ypsi Citizen
Ypsilanti Citizen: City Waives Snow Removal Fees
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
But What About the Hookers???
This weekend, I was hanging out with my sister bitching about this whole shovel mess in Ypsilanti. My sister reminded me of a story that she feels captures the essence of Ypsilanti...
A while back, I went to a neighborhood association meeting where representatives from the Police Dept were available to listen to citizen's concerns. For TWO hours, it was nothing but bitching about barking dogs, uncut grass, and people speeding on Prospect. Finally, after everyone was finished with that, one man stood up and asked, "But what about the hookers? Is anyone going to do anything about the hookers"
That made me laugh for days. And it has helped me put this issue into perspective a little bit. I want a walkable city as much as the next person and obviously I think it is important that the city government be accountable to Ypsilanti citizens. But our city has problems that are way worse than snow on sidewalks. Just sayin.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Ypsilanti Shovelgate - The Saga Continues...
About a week ago, I received an invoice from the City of Ypsilanti for $103 for snow removal which they said occurred on 1/31. My initial reaction was to just pay the invoice because I couldnt remember if there was possibly any snow or ice on my walk that day. I was angry, though, because I was never issued a warning or notice of any kind. I also was angry because although I was being charged for snow removal, I never noticed that any work had been done. I was pretty angry, too, because this is not the first time I have had a bad experience with the city regarding ordinance enforcement (Click HERE to read about that experience)
Later, I came across Mark Maynard's post on the subject (which can be viewed HERE along with a subsequent post which can be viewed HERE). I came to learn that several other citizens received similar invoices and not a single one of them had received a notice or warning of any kind. Also, unlike me, many of them were certain that their walks were clear.
During the course of the discussion on that blog, there were a lot of people claiming that they received no notice. In fact, not a single person came forward and said that they had received a notice. Also, many people claimed that they had shoveled and as it happens, when they appealed, the city was unable to provide them with the photos the contractor is required to take of the walks needed shoveling. Also during that discussion, I was directed to a web site where I could see which properties received invoices. I was curious because the vacant property next to me has never had the snow shoveled even once this winter. They did not receive an invoice.
I decided to go to the City Council meeting tonight to voice my concerns. The first of which was that it appears that people were not given notices. The second of which was that there were consistent reports from many people that the work was not done. And the third issue was that the enforcement was selective such that the worst offenders, such as the vacant property next to me was not cleared or invoiced.
I was hoping that the city council would recognize that there was a problem here that was greater than just the people who have appealed this action or who have publicly complained. I suspect that if none of the loudest of city residents received a notice or warning, it is likely that many of the quieter residents did not either. I was hoping that the council would apologize to the residents of the city on behalf of the city employees who CLEARLY made a mistake here with the implementation of this ordinance. I was hoping to hear some plans about ensuring that ordinances are carried out properly.
I was disappointed. The attitude was basically, if you have a problem, appeal. And I heard that as far as notifications go, if a city employee says they left a notice, that is all the proof anyone needs. I also heard council members commend the staff on the job they did. Now, I wasnt expecting anyone to publicly censure a city employee for this but to *commend* them when there clearly is strong evidence that notices of abatement were not given is beyond the pale. At this point, I am just hoping that I misheard and they were being commended on taking the effort to enforce the ordinance in the first place (which they do deserve) rather than on the implementation which they do not. No one said anything about the selective enforcement even though I was not the only one to bring that up. Nor was there any discussion about how the city could make sure that the contractor did the job they were supposed to do. There was *some* discussion about improving the notification process and I appreciate that. But it isnt enough and it especially isnt enough in the absence of an apology or even much of an acknowledgment that the city was wrong
At any rate. I am going to appeal this. And then I will file it away with the other instances where I have been disappointed in how the city handles things. I can say this though. I am proud of all of my fellow citizens who came out to the meeting and spoke up, not just for themselves (as most of them have already had their invoices waived) but for everyone. One of the things this city still has in its favor is that folks in Ypsilanti are alright!
Later, I came across Mark Maynard's post on the subject (which can be viewed HERE along with a subsequent post which can be viewed HERE). I came to learn that several other citizens received similar invoices and not a single one of them had received a notice or warning of any kind. Also, unlike me, many of them were certain that their walks were clear.
During the course of the discussion on that blog, there were a lot of people claiming that they received no notice. In fact, not a single person came forward and said that they had received a notice. Also, many people claimed that they had shoveled and as it happens, when they appealed, the city was unable to provide them with the photos the contractor is required to take of the walks needed shoveling. Also during that discussion, I was directed to a web site where I could see which properties received invoices. I was curious because the vacant property next to me has never had the snow shoveled even once this winter. They did not receive an invoice.
I decided to go to the City Council meeting tonight to voice my concerns. The first of which was that it appears that people were not given notices. The second of which was that there were consistent reports from many people that the work was not done. And the third issue was that the enforcement was selective such that the worst offenders, such as the vacant property next to me was not cleared or invoiced.
I was hoping that the city council would recognize that there was a problem here that was greater than just the people who have appealed this action or who have publicly complained. I suspect that if none of the loudest of city residents received a notice or warning, it is likely that many of the quieter residents did not either. I was hoping that the council would apologize to the residents of the city on behalf of the city employees who CLEARLY made a mistake here with the implementation of this ordinance. I was hoping to hear some plans about ensuring that ordinances are carried out properly.
I was disappointed. The attitude was basically, if you have a problem, appeal. And I heard that as far as notifications go, if a city employee says they left a notice, that is all the proof anyone needs. I also heard council members commend the staff on the job they did. Now, I wasnt expecting anyone to publicly censure a city employee for this but to *commend* them when there clearly is strong evidence that notices of abatement were not given is beyond the pale. At this point, I am just hoping that I misheard and they were being commended on taking the effort to enforce the ordinance in the first place (which they do deserve) rather than on the implementation which they do not. No one said anything about the selective enforcement even though I was not the only one to bring that up. Nor was there any discussion about how the city could make sure that the contractor did the job they were supposed to do. There was *some* discussion about improving the notification process and I appreciate that. But it isnt enough and it especially isnt enough in the absence of an apology or even much of an acknowledgment that the city was wrong
At any rate. I am going to appeal this. And then I will file it away with the other instances where I have been disappointed in how the city handles things. I can say this though. I am proud of all of my fellow citizens who came out to the meeting and spoke up, not just for themselves (as most of them have already had their invoices waived) but for everyone. One of the things this city still has in its favor is that folks in Ypsilanti are alright!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Inauguration Day 1/20/2009
This is my account of my own experience of Obama's Inauguration. I stayed at my brother and his wife's house in Vienna, VA. My young nephews generously shared a bedroom while I was there so I could have my own room. By complete coincidence some friends of mine from Seattle were staying in a hotel in Vienna, VA that was only 1/2 mile from my brother's house.
I met up with my friends Beth and Barry, Beth's mother, Gratia, and their daughter B. at the Vienna Metro station. Although we all left the house very early, we didnt get downtown until around 10:30am which was too late to get anywhere in front of the Washington Monument.
The trains were running slowly because someone was pushed or fell onto the metro tracks so they had to turn the trains around before that station. That person was not seriously injured because of the quick thinking of some guy on the platform who knew that there was a space under the platform. He pushed her into the space and the train missed her. I was relived when I heard that. Click here for the story.
My brother was a couple of trains ahead of me because I wanted to wait for Barry/Beth et al and I figured I would text him and then find him once we got down there. While on the train, someone else got a text that streets were closed near the mall so we decided to get off the Metro at Foggy Bottom. Once I got out of the station, I got the text from my brother to get off the train at Foggy Bottom and head towards the WWII memorial. That was just one of many lucky occurrences that surrounded this event. I mean, I missed my brother's text but did the right thing anyways.
Once we got there, there were already too many people for me to find my brother even though he texted me his exact location. I could see where he said he was but I couldnt get over there. So I found a spot near a tree and sat down for a while. I had a pretty good view of the jumbo-tron for most of the ceremony but eventually the space in front of me filled up so I had to stand to see. It got really crowded even way back where we were. I mean crowded like you could barely move crowded. It looked like there were crowds all the way back to the Lincoln Memorial!
During the swearing in people were *very* emotional. There was lots of crying and hugging strangers and cheering. It was awesome! When Aretha came on, I yelled out "Detroit Represent!" and lots of people near me cheered and said they were from Detroit too.
After the swearing in, some people started to leave so I sat down again and watched the rest of the program. I was really happy to have found such a comfortable spot. It was a little cold but not too bad. I was only cold because I had taken off my coat to sit on it. Once it was over, I put my coat back on and was fine.
When it was time to leave, there was discussion about heading towards one of the museums to warm up but it quickly became obvious that there was NO WAY we were going to make it to one of the museums. We stood in a huge crowd that was moving towards the streets. It was remarkable because there was no pushing and no shoving even though the crowd was so dense that everyone was pressed up against everyone else. I have never been around such a mellow nice crowd except for at some Dead shows but those people were high. These folks were just plain NICE although there was some cheering and out breaks of a certain Bananarama song when the helicopter that may have contained Bush flew overhead.
Eventually we made our way back to Foggy Bottom where we ended up in a big crowd waiting to get into the station. They were limiting how many people could enter the station at one time, possibly because of the earlier incident. After around 45 minutes in yet another incredibly nice and pleasant but very dense crowd, we got into the station. I was impressed with the transit workers who were in charge. They kept making everyone repeat "when the person in front of you goes, you go" and "when the person in front of you stops, you stop" and cracking jokes so again, there was no pushing or shoving and lots of laughter. I think they took a potentially dangerous situation and made it much safer so huge props go to the Metro staff.
Eventually we got in but everyone was tired so we got on a train going the wrong way because it had seats and we just rode to Maryland and then eventually got off and got on the train in the right direction. There is nothing like a little discomfort to make one appreciate things like a seat on a warm train. People were very nice on the train too. One guy even gave us a free bumpersticker
Eventually, we made it back to Vienna. We met up with my brother then and we all went out for a very nice dinner.
I met up with my friends Beth and Barry, Beth's mother, Gratia, and their daughter B. at the Vienna Metro station. Although we all left the house very early, we didnt get downtown until around 10:30am which was too late to get anywhere in front of the Washington Monument.
The trains were running slowly because someone was pushed or fell onto the metro tracks so they had to turn the trains around before that station. That person was not seriously injured because of the quick thinking of some guy on the platform who knew that there was a space under the platform. He pushed her into the space and the train missed her. I was relived when I heard that. Click here for the story.
My brother was a couple of trains ahead of me because I wanted to wait for Barry/Beth et al and I figured I would text him and then find him once we got down there. While on the train, someone else got a text that streets were closed near the mall so we decided to get off the Metro at Foggy Bottom. Once I got out of the station, I got the text from my brother to get off the train at Foggy Bottom and head towards the WWII memorial. That was just one of many lucky occurrences that surrounded this event. I mean, I missed my brother's text but did the right thing anyways.
Once we got there, there were already too many people for me to find my brother even though he texted me his exact location. I could see where he said he was but I couldnt get over there. So I found a spot near a tree and sat down for a while. I had a pretty good view of the jumbo-tron for most of the ceremony but eventually the space in front of me filled up so I had to stand to see. It got really crowded even way back where we were. I mean crowded like you could barely move crowded. It looked like there were crowds all the way back to the Lincoln Memorial!
During the swearing in people were *very* emotional. There was lots of crying and hugging strangers and cheering. It was awesome! When Aretha came on, I yelled out "Detroit Represent!" and lots of people near me cheered and said they were from Detroit too.
After the swearing in, some people started to leave so I sat down again and watched the rest of the program. I was really happy to have found such a comfortable spot. It was a little cold but not too bad. I was only cold because I had taken off my coat to sit on it. Once it was over, I put my coat back on and was fine.
When it was time to leave, there was discussion about heading towards one of the museums to warm up but it quickly became obvious that there was NO WAY we were going to make it to one of the museums. We stood in a huge crowd that was moving towards the streets. It was remarkable because there was no pushing and no shoving even though the crowd was so dense that everyone was pressed up against everyone else. I have never been around such a mellow nice crowd except for at some Dead shows but those people were high. These folks were just plain NICE although there was some cheering and out breaks of a certain Bananarama song when the helicopter that may have contained Bush flew overhead.
Eventually we made our way back to Foggy Bottom where we ended up in a big crowd waiting to get into the station. They were limiting how many people could enter the station at one time, possibly because of the earlier incident. After around 45 minutes in yet another incredibly nice and pleasant but very dense crowd, we got into the station. I was impressed with the transit workers who were in charge. They kept making everyone repeat "when the person in front of you goes, you go" and "when the person in front of you stops, you stop" and cracking jokes so again, there was no pushing or shoving and lots of laughter. I think they took a potentially dangerous situation and made it much safer so huge props go to the Metro staff.
Eventually we got in but everyone was tired so we got on a train going the wrong way because it had seats and we just rode to Maryland and then eventually got off and got on the train in the right direction. There is nothing like a little discomfort to make one appreciate things like a seat on a warm train. People were very nice on the train too. One guy even gave us a free bumpersticker
Eventually, we made it back to Vienna. We met up with my brother then and we all went out for a very nice dinner.
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