The Thanksgiving Report

I did Thanksgiving at my parents’ house as usual. And as usual it was kind of stressful. My mom always gets very stressed out about the whole thing and gets pissed if she doesn’t think I am helping enough. I am generally hesitant to help out though because if one doesn’t do everything her way, she gets all pissy about it.

My favorite part of the holiday is that time, after everyone has eaten and they are sitting around the table chatting and telling stories. That is the time when my mother wants me clearing the table or serving coffee or whatever. I got out of clearing the table because my sister was with us this year due to getting a divorce over the summer. But, I still had to go serve the pie RIGHT AFTER DINNER when no one really is ready for pie. Well, I wasn’t ready for pie yet anyways.

The pie serving wouldn’t have been so bad except she had to get up to criticize how I was doing it. My thought about that was that it probably took at least as much energy for her to get up and come into the kitchen to bitch at me about how I was cutting the pie as it would for her to cut and serve the pie herself. It certainly would have been easier for both of us if she simply did it herself. Or she could have relaxed at the table and not put energy into being such a bitch. She is only like this at holidays too. I think she has some notion that when she is the holiday hostess, everything has to be perfect (her version of perfect) or something.

It wasnt just the pie thing either that pissed me off. She totally *had* to get on my case about how I handled things last weekend with my dog Crissy. I spent too much money on an old dog. I should have gone to a cheaper vet. I shouldnt have run any tests. blah blah blah. She isnt usually this bad but she used to be like this EVERY day when I was in high school. I remember once she went to see a play I was in and then wouldnt shut up about how terrible it was and how she couldnt understand why we would choose a play that was written so badly (I told her that was because it was written by students). GRRRR. I would just as soon forget about that particular aspect of her personality.

It occurred to me, later on, that I would have had a much nicer holiday sitting home alone with a frozen turkey dinner. It wasn’t like I got to enjoy my favorite part of the day anyways Oh well. Maybe next year I will remember to demand complete pie autonomy and will bring the whole pies to the table with a stack of plates so I can sit and chat while cutting the pie. Ah well. Isn’t that how it always is? One always thinks of a better way to handle a situation after the situation is past and nothing can be done about it.

Or maybe next year, I will have Thanksgiving at my house. I’ll just get the Meijer turkey dinner and serve it all on paper plates. I’ll get everyone all liquored up first so they don’t notice that the dinner is from Meijer. When I told this plan to a friend, she said I should bring all the Meijer stuff home and put it in casserole pans in my oven so I could pretend that I cooked it all myself. Yeah…I think it could be a workable plan although I still think the frozen turkey dinner idea sounds attractive.